Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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