Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
