That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
