dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We need to get me chipped asap
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
