this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
