I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
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