WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
He? As in you personified your dick?
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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