I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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