You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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