She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Everclear isn't food dammit
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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