It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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