Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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