i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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