my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
