ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
