You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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