my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize
