How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
