I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
