Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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