i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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