dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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