she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
