u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
