She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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