chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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