You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
