Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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