Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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