So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize