unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
