Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
