Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize