so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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