Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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