I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
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