i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Randomize
