Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
