kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
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