I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
