So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
