Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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