I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize