Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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