You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Randomize
