I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
