You really coming over, don't trick.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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