im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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