Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
