Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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