so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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