2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
