Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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