doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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