Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I take back everything I said about communal showers
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
