I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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