she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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