before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
Randomize
