I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
