You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
How does one acquire holy water?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
