you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
