I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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