I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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