im gay
i know
yea but for you.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
