I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
where are my eyebrows?
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