i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
