they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
