i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize